frustration

something interesting i noticed tonight... the things that frustrate me most about working with the youth group are the same things that frustrated me when i was part of the youth group in high school.

am i too close to their age for them to respect me? is it because they haven't known me for forever? is it because i'm a female?

i'm not convinced i'm doing the right thing by being there every wednesday night. i'm not convinced that it isn't hurting my relationship with God. i'm not convinced that quitting wouldn't hurt it even more.

i am convinced that mostly people wouldn't notice if i did quit.

and i know i'm tired of leaving there every wednesday night feeling like i've been hitting my head against a brick wall.

patience and wisdom. oh God, grant me patience and wisdom.